My Complete Idol

12.

Happy Days

So proud of myself.

When I applied for the race for life my aim was to complete the race in 25 minutes.

Today, I ran 5.5KM in 31 minutes, which is about 3/4 minutes off my target. I am so happy.

A break from running and from positivity did make me stronger. Additionally I had a rest day yesterday, so no exercise apart from walking around college from 8-5. 

I can't express how happy I am for myself.

Apart from doubts in my mind which I think will never go away, I actually think I will be able to complete this, with all my friends and family around me I am happier than ever.

My aim now is to stop burdening myself with everyone else's problems, I need to relax and be a little selfish now.

11.

Only Upward Spirals

After having a long week of downward spirals, it was my worst yet, I would like to say that I am now feeling positive again, but that's not entirely true.

I was at my lowest last week, being alone in the house, having nothing to do, just made me over think everything.

Life.

Why am I here?

Last week I made some terrible choices, and I hope I never get that low again, that I have to repeat that.

I have been running and eating as usual but just couldn't bring myself to share my experiences with the whole world just yet.

I am getting better, but I would say that I am 100% right now.

I will be blogging regularly again.

Hopefully this downward spiral will just make me stronger.

10.

6.12"

Getting my time down today has given me an amazing push. I ran alot further 6.15KM and I still managed to get my time down, as I ran it in 38:10 Minutes which I am very proud of.

Yes, my boyfriend did let me down and said that he didn't want to run with me today and so I went on my own as usual.

Unusually warm today I went out in shorts which was a massive step for me, yes I might go clubbing in town in a little mini dress, but there I don't stand out. But running in shorts, everyone stares at my legs while I run, feeling self conscious I went anyway.

While people stared at first I thought: "Why did I do this to myself, why did I put myself out there, with flabby legs and scattering hair?"

But then I thought: "I have to do this sometime, and its a good way to get my confidence up. 

YOU CAN STARE ALL YOU WANT BUT ARE YOU DOING EXERCISE?"

I'm feeling a lot better in myself today and therefore have eaten more than yesterday, but still being healthy. 

But if I burnt 400 calories running, surly I can treat myself later? 

My Gym

9.

4.83KM

After a very boring five hour shift this morning, I decided to cheer myself up by going on a run in the summer sun!
I ran 4.83KM, on my usual route I did it in 30:40 Minutes which is reasonably good since I didn't stop once on the way around, however, it was no personal best for me. I NEED TO IMPROVE, and fast!
Running 6:18 Minutes per KM isn't bad but I would like it to be better.
Tomorrow I will be running with my boyfriend, now, he has never ran before and therefore it won't be a personal best either.
On Friday it will be a rest day and therefore I wont be doing anything, which I am glad about.
On Saturday I will be running with my mum again and it still won't be a personal best.
On Monday, it will be the start of my new running plan. Not long distance but short - Under 5KM, but with a shorter time per KM. 

Running today made me feel amazing, free and almost liberated and therefore I feel very refreshed and positive about myself.
However eating only, cheerios at 6.30AM this morning, a breakfast bar at 2.00PM and two ryvita's at around 4.00PM I know that this is not enough but I am afraid to eat anymore for feeling bloated and fat.
My mind will never be the same after being diagnosed with anorexia however hopefully I will get better, and hopefully soon, because I am feeling the same as before.
Hopefully I don't go back down that road.

Inspiration

8.

Leader of the pack

Going running with the whole 'crew' doing the race for life: Mum, Kirstin (My sister) and Suzanne, I was the designated leader and therefore I had to run back and forward giving everyone pointers and telling them what they were doing wrong.

Although we only ran 4.5k it was a whole new workout in itself.

Half way through Kirstin got cramps in her calves, this is when we realized that she runs like Phoebe (If anyone has seen this episode of friends it was hilarious), or like a puppet. 

In addition to this, my mums knee restraint stopped her circulation. So, I was the one who had to run home with it in my hand just waving about.

However Suzanne who is the oldest of all of us, surprised me, she has a lot of stamina and rarely had to stop. 

I have belief in all of us, however this could be a long journey to help them all run 5k without stopping.

Food-wise, after giving up crisps for lent, I have had a MASSIVE blow-out. Bank holiday monday I ate at least four packets of crisps. So today I was on a low again and therefore my diet has started again. I have positive thoughts and hopefully I can do this now. 

This is very helpful, I recommend to anyone.

http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/

7.

Lets get serious

No one is a fitness freak, no. 

Someone may make it a habit to run, to stay healthy or lean, but nobody is that obsessed about something.

After this side of the week, not eating well, I feel bad about myself and yes, this makes me want to run, as far and as long as I can. 

So that's what I'll probably do, tomorrow when I'm back on it I will get lost in my exercise and fitness because of how I feel, because that's how my mind works.

I went into Leicester town last night, yes I was drinking and yes, I do know how many calories are in alcohol, but sometimes, you need to let your hair down! However, after the state that my friends were in, I have no intention of going again soon. 

So it's time to start my serious training for the Race For Life. 

Running 4 times a week, and lean meat and vegetables only, this time I will stick to it, no one will stop me this time!

I'm so excited to start training,

BRING IT ON!

6.

Couch Potato

Exercising is all well and good, but when you train, you ache, and therefore you need a rest day.

So mine was today.

Joined by my very good friend Turaya Jones, we sat all day, under a blanket and watched awful daytime TV.

Drinking green tea (Obviously) and Camille (which is my new favourite) we put our aching legs up for the day and laughed at Vines, scrolled through Facebook and Tweeted to our hearts content.

In my opinion it is VERY important to have a rest day, not only your mind needs to rest but your muscles too. Your muscles need time to repair and in the process they will get stronger and as a result you'll be able to go even further.

Tomorrow, while I'm running, I will be judging whether this is actually the truth and I will write it in my next blog. 

In addition to an exercise rest, I've had a diet rest. 

Whilst drinking buckets of tea, we ate sushi and Thorntons chocolate whilst lounging on the sofa.

Today was a good day, but I'm hoping training tomorrow will be even better!

Bring on tomorrow!