20.

Depression

 So, I'm going to talk about this openly and honestly.
Everyone with this illness will be able to relate to what I'm saying.

• Not everyone with depression self harms.
• Sometimes you won't even know when a person has depression because they hide it so well.
• Depression is NOT only dictated by life circumstances - someone may have everything and still have the illness.
• Not all people that have depression take medication - treatment is not one size fits all.
• Depression is a real illness, when someone feels low, they might not think it's real, they might get laughed at or someone might not believe them. Everyone needs to realise that it is a damaging and sometimes life threatening illness.  

What others need to realise is that they will never understand how it feels to have a low, to have an anxiety attack, or to feel really isolated. Some people tell me to "Think Positive." but really, that is like saying positive thoughts could help a man with blood sugar.
We need to start treating this as a real illness, and a serious condition.
 
When I first felt the flames of depression tickle my toes, I kept it to myself. I didn't want anyone to know, I felt ashamed.
Now I can confirm that it made my condition worse, it made it to progress into even more mental illnesses.
I suffered with Anxiety, Depression, and Anorexia. 

I felt like I didn't deserve to eat, I didn't deserve anything, that was because of the depression.
And then, I had to take three weeks off of college, missing out on critical information on exams, and as a result I moved college.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and so I won't say that it was a bad move because I love what I'm doing now.

For me, what helped was doctors.
At first, I was scared, I didn't want to admit or tell anyone, and I didn't know what the doctors would do to me when I told them.
But they do really understand. As soon as I heard my doctors sympathetic voice telling me that she could help me, a weight was off of my shoulders.
She gave me medication, which has been increased and decreased over the years.
I believe this is the reason that I can talk about depression openly now. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and so the medication balanced it out for me.
This is not to say that it works for everyone!

Presently, what I find helps is venting all of my emotions to someone, preferably a family member. Getting everything out, whether crying, shouting or just talking helps to get it out. Also, they might be able to help?

Furthermore, my boyfriend is a massive help right now, in that he helps me see what I've got. He takes a step back with me, and looks at my whole life, what I've been through and where I am now. 
I appreciate that.

My family have been my absolute rock throughout these two years.